The Algorithms of the Universe

Do you ever find that synchronicity and ease surround you? You know – when all the stars align, and everything goes perfectly as it should. Every song on the radio pertains to your situation, and suddenly you bump into someone that you haven’t seen in forever that sparks the right conversation, or you meet someone new that does exactly what you have always wanted to do? This happens to me on occasion. But it’s rare enough that when it does, I really notice it. And this past month, it’s been happening to me.

It’s amazing to me how things like that work. Like when you are thinking of buying a new car, and suddenly it’s the only car you see on the road. Or when you think maybe you’d like to change up a room and suddenly every ad you see online is for new side tables…

It all started when I got in trouble at work for speaking my mind about inefficiencies. Granted, it was my timing that got me in trouble… but nevertheless, as usual, I got a talking-to about my communication style, and it was suggested I sign up for an effective communication course. (What’s hilarious is three other people that were more vocal than me in the same meeting did NOT get said talking to, nor did they have to take any courses, but I digress….)

The spring calendar for  professional development workshops came out from HR, and I decided to be proactive and signed up for as many of them as I could possibly fit into my calendar. Dealing with Difficult Personalities, Time Management – you name it, I chose it. One of the courses was called “Emotional Intelligence – Adding some EQ to your IQ!” Fun! I thought. Sign me up!

So one thing you may not know about me – I love that pseudo-psychology stuff. Figuring out what makes people tick, putting personalities into boxes, figuring out how to get along with people in different boxes, analyzing the shit out of why someone prefers to take fight head on or turtle under their desk – all of that just makes my heart dance. And I had forgotten just how much until I took that class.

As I sat there learning about self-awareness, I just kept thinking – I COULD DO THAT! So at the break I struck up a conversation with the facilitator and asked her how she got into that line of work. After a bit of her life story, I mentioned that I just didn’t know if I would be qualified or not, and she suggested I read a book called Playing Big – Practical wisdom for women who want to speak up, create, and lead. by Tara Mohr. I decided to take her advice and downloaded the audio book.

I went for a walk the next day and started to listen to it. Then I went for a second walk that day, just to listen to more. Next thing you know I’m listening to it in the shower, the car, and hiked all of East Sooke Park just soaking it all in. Every single chapter spoke right to my heart.

The next book I downloaded was Jen Sincero’s You are a BADASS. Hilarious, insightful, ingenious – and did I say hilarious? Her insight fed so much into the Playing Big book that I wondered if they were related. I found myself listening to them both again. And downloading all the books that they each suggested. I realized that I, and only I, have been holding myself back from the awesomeness inside me. And only I could do something about it.

In the meantime, I was coaching a friend through a tough breakup and life changing transition with a volunteer position that she had wrapped her life around. A brief conversation in Starbucks helped my favourite barista make a decision that would change the direction of her life – simply by reframing her mindset based on what I learned in the Playing Big book. I then met an old friend of Jeff’s, who recently completed the Executive Coaching program at Royal Roads, who recommended a few more books to read. I signed up for the coaching course that the author of Playing Big offered. And next thing I knew, plans started to fall into place.

I realized that what I really want to do is help survivors find their joy. Often times people go through a trauma or a diagnosis and when it’s time to go back to work, they realize that they do not want to go back to their previous lives. Once you’ve looked death in the eyes, it can be hard to go back to a soul sucking desk job, or working with toxic people. Some people don’t want to repeat the same day over and over for 30 years in order to collect a gold watch and then die. But often, they don’t know how to move forward. I want to help people get unstuck.

I’m not sure exactly how this whole thing will play out, but I’m putting it out to the universe that I’m open to change. I’m excited to contribute. And I’m STOKED for my future.

I often think the universe has it’s own algorithms, like Facebook or Google. Once you get an idea that makes your heart sing, that stirs your soul, that creates the vibrations that make you feel like you need out of your own skin – the whispers start. The chance encounters. The right books. The billboards. So many of us ignore those whispers, choosing instead to play small in our lives – to stay safe. I don’t want to be that girl anymore. I’m putting it out there, and I’m paying attention. I suggest you do too!

(PS. For my UVic folks – I’m not changing anything today. I’m just laying the groundwork at this stage. Do not panic!)