Becoming unmistakable
I’m currently doing a 12 week personal and professional development course, called “Playing Big”, taught by author Tara Mohr. It’s based on her book “Playing Big – Practical Wisdom for Women who want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead“. I’m about a month into the course, but it has already been transformational for me, in that I’m learning about defining my core values (or core nutrients), taming my inner critic (who is ferocious it seems), and tapping into my inner mentor when it comes to making decisions, even on a day to day basis. This concept of defining my core values has really resonated with me, as I find often what really matters to me does not align with what I do, how I present myself, or how I am perceived at my current place of work.
I have also started listening to podcasts and audio books. I feel like I’m about 10 years behind in this realm, so now it’s difficult to find me WITHOUT my headphones in, as I learn about all the amazing things that people are talking about.
One of the podcasts I listen to on a regular basis is “The Unmistakable Creative” by Srini Rao. Srini interviews “insanely interesting people from all walks of life.” (Quoted directly from his website HERE). The other day I was listening to his interview of Michael Bungay Stanier, a Rhodes scholar that has written several books including The Coaching Habit and Do More Great Work. Both books were written to help managers and employees to be more effective, more creative, more efficient in their work and interactions.
(LISTEN TO THE FULL EPISODE HERE).
At the end of every interview, Srini always asks his interviewees “What do you think makes someone or something unmistakable?” The answers are always my favourite parts of the interview. But yesterday, Mr. Stanier’s answer literally made me stop in my tracks. It was pure brilliance.
We all have this mix of talents we’re born with, skills that we’ve nurtured, things we’ve decided to emphasize, things we’ve decided to de-emphasize in who we are. We all have that sort of different palette. But I think what becomes unmistakable is when you’ve got the courage to turn up the volume to 10 on that mix of who you are and how you’ve shown up in the world.
There’s an exercise we do – it’s actually from the “Do More Great Work” book – where you get someone to tell a story about a “great work” moment of their past, and from that story, you get to have a go at distilling out what core values you might have. Everyone uses different language and different words to describe what their 3 to 5 core values might be, but it’s very interesting… you ask people on a score of 1-10 “how do you rate yourself as to how you’re living those values at the moment?” Honestly most people are somewhere between a 4 and a 7 as their answer.
Then you go “OK, pick one of those values. Now imagine this. If you turn that value up to 10, and you’re living it at a 10, what would you stop doing? What would you start doing? What would you do more of?” And I think, once you get that volume up to a 10, THAT’s when you truly become unmistakable.
Wow.
My core values – should I pick my top three – are integrity, authenticity, and contribution. I want to be relevant. I want to make a difference. I want to be heard. And he’s right – if I were to rank myself, I would say I waffle between a 5 and a 7 in all three. Stepping into a new level of any of the three has the potential to be mind blowing!
I see so many people in a day just going through the motions in life. It’s the norm, the status quo, the easier way of being, just to put one foot in front of the other, blending in and not rocking the boat, until suddenly you’ve repeated the same day for 40 years, just to collect a gold watch and a pension and then you die.
I don’t want to be that person.
Maybe it’s that I’ve stared death in the face. Maybe it’s that I have had a glimpse of greatness. But one things I know, is life is too short not to step up to the plate and follow your passion. Doing so doesn’t mean you have to quit your job and move to Bali. But it could mean you speak up about inefficiencies to make your workplace more tolerable. Or volunteer with an organization that feeds your soul. Or learn to belly dance. Or write your book.
I urge you – if you have no idea what your core values are, find out. And then figure out whether you’re actually living those values. (I can help you figure those out if you have no idea where to start). Take a leap. Or even a tiptoe. With each tiny turn of the dial, you may find that you too can step into the Unmistakable!